When to Start Dating After Divorce
Many factors should be considered before you start dating after a divorce.
Whether you are young or older, after a divorce, the concept of dating again is a scary thing. It’s natural to wonder if anyone is ever going to be right for you again and how you feel about yourself weighs heavily in how you relate to others.
After a divorce, self-esteem issues can rise to defeat your desire to go on with your life. If you have bunches of self-confidence, dating is a very exciting prospect. If you don’t have the kind of self-esteem that it takes to deal with the hard knocks of dating, then you will need to do some work on these issues before you can even begin to think about dating again. A bad dating experience can do a lot of harm without the tools already in place to deal with the inevitable dating disappointments. Spend plenty of time just getting to know yourself before you begin dating.
Be sure you are truly over your ex before dating anyone else. Dating because you are lonely is not a way to resolve your feelings for your ex. Replacing one person with another is not fair to you or to the person that will never measure up. Be honest with yourself about your feelings for your ex. Even bitterness towards your ex is a sign that you should not begin dating yet. That bitterness can carry over into other relationships and cause you to harbor undeserved feelings toward people that had nothing to do with your break up.
Unlike when you were a teenager and you had all the time in the world, divorce has a way of setting into motion the clock in your head that tells you that you don’t have the time to waste anymore. There is a panic that sets in from this knowledge, but you must understand that it is not a waste of time to get to know someone before embarking on a relationship with that person. Taking the time early on to establish a friendship can save you a lot of time later on, so just begin dating with the idea of trying to establish new friendships, not with the idea that you are entering a new relationship.
Trust yourself to know when it is the right person and the right time to take the relationship on to the next step. Don’t let yourself be talked into something when you are not sure that it is the right thing. Remember every time you settle for the wrong thing, you are prolonging the time that it takes to find what you truly want in a relationship.
If you haven’t dated in a while, dating has changed over the years. It used to be that you were introduced to someone by someone you knew and then phone numbers were exchanged. After talking for a while on the telephone, a date was set to go out. Now days we have so many options for finding people to date, but always remember that dating can be dangerous too. Take steps to protect yourself when getting to know new people.